I was reading a piece on yesterday on bitterness from a website called Bible Truth, and he starts out talking about bitterness, and further in the lesson they encloses  the model prayer Jesus prayed in Matthew 6:12 which said:  “we ask for forgiveness as we are forgiving others, “And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.” The word debt means what is owed to us or in this verse someone who has offended or sinned against us.”

“Jesus in Matthew 6:14-15 shows us the seriousness of the matter: “For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.”

“In Matthew 18:22 Jesus gave us the standard saying that we were to forgive seventy times seventy the person who hurts us.”

A BITTER PERSON IS USUALLY ONE WHO HAVE BEEN HURT.

Usually there are three ways we are hurt.

1.  By what is DONE to us.

2.  By what is SAID about us.

3. By what is TAKEN from us!

 

Life hurts right about now, but I’ve “NEVER” been a cry baby or one to throw myself a pity party, but some things to me  just don’t make sense,  and it don’t surprise me,  because a lot of things “Jesus” went around doing in the bible days did not make sense either to man; but, there were always logical reason and a purpose why Jesus did things the way he did them; and, he did them “not” like man would because he knew man would do his best to take the credit, and steal all of the glory out of a moment to show the world who he really was and is, and he yet lives on today!

I tell you, I have a testimony now, even greater than I had previously when God gave me back my extremities to walk after encountering a rare muscle disease called Transverse Myelitis, that man yet to this day since 1990  have figured out.  I am a 1 in a million people who survived that disease since 1990,  and I yet live and have  a supernatural ability to yet be able to bear a child. (That’s another whole story)..

Nevertheless, today not only did I raise the two grown children I have successfully as a single mother, God gave me another unusual shot,  at my request to raise a special needs child successfully and yet live to the world what looked like a pretty good life.  What looks like a normal life to the naked eye, but it really is not what is seem.  Normal to me is this life I’ve lived on pain meds, steroids, from time time,  Neurontin consistently which is neurological drug, and so many more that I depend on daily to survive.  Yes, I’ve gotten written off as crazy, psychophrenic, bipolar, and every other cruel mental name people could find to call me.

Nevertheless, I’ve been going to physical of physical therapy twice a week for over 20 years, and this current Physical Therapy Physician in Costa Mesa, by the name of Dr. Lee , at Southland Physical therapy has  worked on me diligently for the past 9-years, give or take.   He encourages me in every way he knows how like I am worth a million bucks to him as a valued patient.  I so appreciate him right about now for believing in me.  I hold on to dear life this morning because of God first, my youngest son Justin,  and then him. Dr. Lee told me a day before my surgery, last week  before he personally realigned my body with me being off of pain medication, which was so painful, but he made sure every bone was where it was supposed to be, and he looked at me before I left the office and said in front of witnesses of men: “I will say a prayer for you at 7:30 a.m.  when I know you will be going under anesthesia for your surgery”.   I want you to know, that If you only have one person to believe in you, that is more enough,  because God all by himself is worth every pain, every hurt I’ve been through this past year.

It’s 2014 now,  and my Daddy who was a Pastor and Gospel Minister for over 40 years passed away on December 22, 2014  from a long bout with bladder cancer, and he is not here to pray for me physically like he always have for the past 38 years since I was a 10-year-old little girl. That’s why I am so confused after God really fixed that situation,  so I could genuinely learn to love my Father after accidentally bumping into him coming out of a cleaners picking up his work clothes from the City of Long Beach, where he worked for over 40 years.  Low and behold, while I sit in my mother’s car, waiting on my mother to come out of the shoe store while she  so diligently were looking for me those Mary Jane shoes that I wanted so bad.  I want you all to know that didn’t get those  “Mary Jane” shoes right then at that particular store because they did not have my size ,  but I got to reunite my Father at 10-years-old, laying my eyes on him for the first time,  knowing that, that was him walking out the cleaners, as my mom walked out of that shoe store. As my mother stood and conversed with this man before she brought him over to the car, I knew in my little heart that he was my Father.  The day unexpectedly had finally come.  I will elaborate on that in my biography “Let my baby live” that I will finish soon.  See, every time I’ve tried to publish this book for the past 20 years, the story just keeps on getting better and better.

I yet struggle daily, me and my child alone, but Only God knows and take real good care of us. I care for my disabled child for 11-years by myself, and he has only laid his eyes on his Dad one week in 2011, of his entire life when his Grandmother that loved us dearly passed away..  You can’t tell me nothing about my God!!!

I know in my heart that only “God” can pull me through the horrible time that me and my 11-year-old disabled son have encountered this past week, let alone to add what transpired at that hospital with my Father in November 2013.   The whole year of caring for him was devastating as a daughter..

If I did not LOVE “JESUS” the way I do, I would be saying right now that there is no God, and there is no “LOVE ” in this world.  I will NEVER ever utter those words from my mouth like I’ve heard so many foolish people do when they think that God has forgotten about them. “NEVER”!!! Just the mere fact that I am a today’s 2014 miracle, and “YES”, I survived through such horrible pain last night, I will NEVER care what MAN thinks about me no matter what his status or statute is. He can be the President of the United States of America, Barack Obama that I respect highly, and I would not be moved the way this invisible “Jesus” have moved my heart, soul and mind since I met him for myself.

Now, I really and truly know why God saw fit to give me one more child, that I named “Justin”..  God knew that he would be the only one in this world that would never want to leave my side, no matter what, and I thank God for him even with his little feeble mind, that God is doing a great work on him, in him  and through him…  Now I know why I had to encounter the things I had to encounter, yet God still get’s gets the glory. It’s pays in the long run to be faithful to God, because there will come a time when he will put you to the the test, and either you will stand if you really know him the pardon of your sins, or you will burn in the fire, fold and give up.  NOT ME!!! #grounded!!!

God I thank you!  Even though life seems so hard… Now, it’s all coming together to me why you would give me two children off the richter scale, and one that I’ve really had to work so hard with, only to be told while I lay flat on my back in pain by one of my other children that I am NOT a good mother, That hurts!!! I want the world to know, like my Pastor says every Sunday.. “If it had not been for the Lord (God) on my side” watching over me and my child every step of the way, where would we both be on this morning at 2:18 a.m, May 8, 2014.. I would not be here today if I had to wait on some the people I’ve given my entire life too. God is getting full credit that I am redeeming this very hour right now! God has all POWER: to do whatever he desires in all of our lives and get the glory… Just one touch, and you can be healed if you have faith the size of a mustard seed as I’ve had these 48 years God has placed me on this earth.

Wow,it’s stuff like I’ve encountered my whole life, I know only my Jesus brought me through it!  That is only half of my testimony…  Can’t tell is all, but I just wanted to share this bit of history of my life with the world.

Bitterness will consume your whole life if you let it.. Not me!!! Read: Ephesians 4:31 – Hebrew 12:14-15

 

 

Posted by: ~ Minister Evelyn Diane Thomas, my heartfelt personal testimony I needed to share with the world.

Cited: bible truth’s.org