John 16:20 (NIV) Very truly I tell you, you will weep and mourn while the world rejoices. You will grieve, but your grief will turn to joy.
Hello to my subscribers, family and friends all over the world…. I bring you greetings today and hope this note finds you well and doing fine… Today is a very special day for me as I celebrate my 46 years of life on this earth… No, it has not been easy but it has been rewarding but not without many challenges… Nevertheless, I give God all the praise and all the glory for keeping me safe from all hurt, harm or danger… I thank him that he saw fit to allow me to come into world with all the odds stacked up against me… I’m certain that I was predestined to get here and leave a mark and impact on various lives that I have encountered….
I tell people all the time that when God made me, he only made ONE me and I do believe that he knew what he was doing and made no mistake in doing so…. I’m grateful on today, and just wanted to take my time to show gratitude to you all for being so supportive of everything that I do… It is so greatly appreciated and I do not take it lightly that you take the time to leave comments, sends emails and phone messages…. That lets me know that God is in control and there is a need for the good news of Jesus Christ to be shared around this world…. I say thank you… I say I love each of just because of Who’s you are…
As I posted above, I dare you to just Live life, Laugh lots, and Love Forever… It will change your atmosphere…. I’m still working on myself and trying to improve everyday, and I need your prayers that God’s will be fulfilled in my life… I can’t stop now, and I won’t give up until this mission is completed…. I press on knowing that I don’t believe he brought me this far to leave me now!!!!!
And ye now therefore have sorrow: but I will see you again, and your heart shall rejoice, and your joy no man taketh from you.”
Proverbs 14:1 The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.
New International Version (NIV)
Good morning to my WIFI Ministries Family and Friends all around the world… Truly I am happy on today… Just thanking God that I can feel his presence no matter where I am… I just pray right now in the name of Jesus, that he help us to hold out and help us defeat the things in our lives that distracts us from feeling close to God… I pray right now that every hindrance be used to strengthen and make us better as we rise above every obstacle and circumstance that may be placed in our way… God, just help us to hold out, because truly we know that our living is not in vain, and with your help and your help alone if we ask, you will help us in whatever area it is that we struggle… I claim it done right now!!!
I pray that each of you have a blessed day as I am as I celebrate all week long my life and beautiful birthday on tomorrow, April 11, 2012!!!! Praise him, and yes God is so good!!! I don’t have everything that I want, but I thank God for giving me everything that I need!!!!
– Keep fighting and just hold on!!!
“It aint over until God says it’s over!”
hold out – a. To have and keep in one’s grasp: held the reins tightly. b. To aim or direct; point: held a hose on the fire. c. To keep from falling or moving; support: a nail too …” Just hold on!!!”
Posted by: Minister Evelyn Diane Thomas April 10, 2012
1 Peter 1:13-16 “Wherefore gird up the loins of your mind, be ye sober, and hope to the end for the grace that is to be brought unto you at the revelation of Jesus Christ. As obedient children, not fashioning yourselves according to the former lust in your ignorance: But be ye holy in all manner of conversation; Because it is written, Be ye Holy; for I am holy.”
2 Peter 1:3-9: “His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness.” (2 Peter 1:3).
As I awake on today, I can hear the late Isaiah Bishop’s voice so clearly as he taught so profoundly over the years on “Holiness…” I will be celebrating my 46th birthday on this year, and I met him when I was 7-years-old, and he was preaching Holiness or hell way back then, and as I became an adult and began to walk on my own two feet, I understand more now that I’ve become a mature adult in Christ… I did not say perfect, and I make no excuses for random things I might say or do… Nevertheless, through Holiness, God is working on me and changing my life everyday so that I can become so close to God that I know he is more than just a friend, he is my Father…..
I know it seems rare that anyone tackles this subject anymore… However, there is a need for this subject to be preached to dyeing world and a new generation that really don’t know that heaven and hell are both real. I say that hoping that someone would take heed to know that we only get one life to live, and living it in holiness is the only way I know that fulfills every void….
Holiness definition: In the highest sense belongs to God (Isa. 6:3;Rev. 15:4), and to Christians as consecrated to God’s service, and in so far as they are conformed in all things to the will of God (Rom.6:19, 22; Eph. 1:4; Titus 1:8; 1 Pet. 1:15). Personal holiness is a work of gradualdevelopment. It is carried on under manyhindrances, hence the frequent admonitions to watchfulness, prayer, and perseverance (1 Cor.1:30; 2 Cor. 7:1; Eph. 4:23, 24). (SeeSANCTIFICATION.)
When we are born again by the Holy Spirit He, the Holy Spirit, begins to work in us the character of God. No, more than that! He plants in our spirits ‘the divine nature’ of God. We share in His divine nature. (2 Peter 1:3-4).
What is God’s nature? It is His righteousness, His holiness, His patience and comfort and strength. His nature is glorious and believers reflect it in the way they live (2 Cor 3:17-18).
How do we participate in these many aspects of God’s nature. Our fallen nature is exchanged for His nature. Under the Spirit’s direction and control, our fallen nature is reconstituted. Our nature takes on again the originalimage of God which was muddied and spoiled by sin. So Paul could say to the believers at Corinth, “you are new creations in Christ” (2 Cor 5:17).
Our journey through life gives God time and space to remake us “in His perfect image.”
David said, “He makes me lie down in green pastures, He leads me beside quiet waters,” (Psalm 23:2-3). We feast on Him; we drink deeply of His divine nature and we take on the characteristics of our Father in heaven.
Those who drink alcoholic beverages take on the nature of the beverages they drink. Those who drink of the Spirit, take on the nature or fruit of the Holy Spirit “love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control.” (Gal 5:22-23).
Because our nature is changed to be like God’s nature, Jesus is not ashamed to call us brothers, saying, “Here am I, and the children God has given Me.” (Heb 2:11-13). The writer also said, “Both the One who makes men holy and those who are made holy are of the same family” God’s family. Holiness is the hallmark of God’s family.
The Holy Spirit by His very presence and nature works holiness of life in the believer. If a man or woman does not have the Spirit, he or she is not a Christian (Rom 8:9). By the power of the indwelling Spirit, believers can live holy lives, according to the Scriptures.
From the beginning, God demanded holiness. Holiness equals righteousness. God said men of faith were righteous (Gen 15:6). They lived holy lives and they “walked with God.” (Gen 6:9). He demanded holiness in the days of Moses (Ex 19:6). And He demands holiness of life for all who would enter His Kingdom.
When God created Adam and Eve in His image and likeness, I believe He clothed them with His glory and holiness (Eph 4:24). When they rebelled and broke God’s command, that glory fell away and they saw themselves naked, and they were ashamed (Gen 3:7).
God cannot walk and talk with sinners, so He put Adam and Eve out of the garden. Only in Christ can we gain the holiness we lost and have God’s likeness fully restored in our lives.
The Risen Christ told the apostle John, “Blessed are those who wash their robes, that they may have the right to the tree of life, and may go through the gates into the (Holy) city. Outside are those who practice magic arts, the sexually immoral, the murderers, the idolaters and everyone who loves and practices falsehood.” (Rev 22:15; 21:8). Because nothing impure will ever enter it (heaven), nor will anyone who is shameful or deceitful. (Rev 21:27).
Sermon Scripture: Luke 23:46 (NIV) –46 Jesus called out with a loud voice, “Father, into your hands I commit my spirit.” When he had said this, he breathed his last.
Sermon Title: “A wireless connection”
“I’m connected!!!”
Opening Prayer:
Song Selection: The Holy Ghost keeps on moving down in my soul!
Song Selection: “How great is our God!”
I will insert the I tunes Video sermon…. ” A WIRELESS CONNECTION” …. No sermon notes..,.
Have to get out and go to church today!!! I Love me some Empowerment Temple Church!!!
Sermon Scripture: Luke 23:46 (NIV) –46 Jesus called out with a loud voice, “Father, into your hands I commit my spirit.” When he had said this, he breathed his last.
Empowerment Temple 9:30 Ressurection Easter Sunday – April 8, 2012
(Uncut/ unedited verbatim sermon notes taken by: Minister Evelyn)
Sermon Scripture: John 19:30 (NIV) 30 When he had received the drink, Jesus said, “It is finished.” With that, he bowed his head and gave up his spirit.
Sermon Title: “I need some closure!”
Song Selection: Help me Praise him!!!
Poem:
Song Selection: The Holy Ghost is moving down in my soul!
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Song Selection: – He is the risen King!
Sermon Scripture: John 19:30 (NIV) 30 When he had received the drink, Jesus said, “It is finished.” With that, he bowed his head and gave up his spirit.
Sermon Title: “I need some closure!”
Who you telling….. In the scripure of acts.. In a small room… What God placed on his heart escapes him… What he is teaching on tonight escapes him… Seated in a window was a young man named Eutychus, who was sinking into a deep sleep as Paul talked on and on. When he was sound asleep, he fell to the ground from the third story and was picked up dead. He falls 3 story’s down to the curb… .I want to suggest to you in all actualility.. I would not have happened if the window had a closure… When closure is not in place it leaves the possibilitiy for somebody getting hurt… It leaves the possibility for you to get hurt easier than if there was some closure..
After he creasted Eve, he closed Adams side up… He needed to close him back up… Whomeever took a piece of who you are.. God is not going to allow anyone to do that to you…
Trayvon Martin’s family deserve some closure for there son’s death..
Some of us need closure to a relationship, death,divorce or being ditched…. Closure where you have been under promised and under whelmed… You need some closure for somebody who keeps blowing out your candle… You need some closure where you are waiting for a car to pull up….
They needed some closure of how the boy was injured after falling from a 3 story building….
Do I fight or negotiate in areas of my life where I need some closure… Luke Chapter 4 – as was his custom… He went into the pulpit and read: “The spirit of the Lord is upon me..” This is the year for the acceptable…. Etc… He closed the book and knew what his call was… When you know who you are and what you are suppose to do… When you know what your assignment is, people cannot take you for granted…. If people are overwhelmed and intimidated by your looks, close the book… It is not your problem… Shut the book on some people who should have never been on your page in the first place..
Before Jesus shut the book, he understood what his assignment was… This is the year that I experience the year of the Lord… This is the year that you will have the favor of the Lord… The enemy is a defated force… You are going to experience the favor of the Lord.. .He is going to bless you coming in and going out… In spite of people likeing you, you are going to be able to come in and go out… Even with a negative doctor report, you are still going to be able to say that you are healed…. This is your year for favor!!!!
I need somebody in the room :This year, I will receive FAVOR! Say it again: “This year I will receive Favor!!! “
The reason why you must get closure is you are CLOSE! You must get closure because you are closer to your destiny than you have been your entire life… You are a few blocks away from getting everything that God has for you../
When Jesus was crucified, he was not crucified by himself… He was crucified with two other people…. The other two were tied to the cross with rope… Jesus was nailed to the cross because they were scared that he would pick himself up…. Please stop comparing yourself with other people… The enemy don’t know that you have the ability to pick yourself up… The enemy keeps trying to nail you down thinking that he is messing with you…. . Usually when they crusified someone it took 7 hours to die…. He died in 3 hours…
He is cutting down the time you will be in pain… You are not going to grieve as long as other people… .You are going to be able to say Weeping may endure for a night, but joy will come in the morning….” Because my pain level has been cut!
As Jesus is dangled from the crooss, a soilder pearced him in the side…. Whenever you are about to get closure, the enemy does not come from far away… They will not come from a distance … They will come from somone right beside you… . From someone you thought you could trust… He is angling for his heart… It is the diabolical scheme tho break your heart…. You will not believe that the one you were close to would throw you under the bus and leave you for dead… Let them get a front row seat after they have done you wrong… Let them see while you get some closure…. He’s got spit on his face, he is on the cross naked… He’s got dried up blood and all of the people he has helped has left him…. It blows my mind what he says next…. “It is finished!!!!”
He does not declare it is finished when he is off the cross…. He says it’s finished while I’m still bleeeding…. God told me to tell you that he is going to heal you while it still hurts… I’m going to give you closure for the moment… I’m wounded, I’m bleeding and I’m in pain.. I don’t look my best, but I feel better… I don’t know how long it’s going to take, and I’m going to have to deal with this by myself… We do not have to got to lunch, or do anything because I know that you meant it for evil, but God meant it for good….
Somebody should be giving God some glory knowing that the matter has been closed…. How do you call what President Obama call the audaisty of hope when you are still in it…. How do you say you are finished with it when you are still dealing with it? How do I keep my head on when everyone around me has their head off?
I tooke Topaz to see Jayden Smith of the Karate kids… Bulleys circled around Jadyden Smith, and he was not prepared for the level of pain they were inflicing on him… He told he to look because he said this was the remake and he has seen this level of attack before…
Because you had a storm last year, you have seeen this type of pain before… Topaz is now sneaking a peak at the screen…. I know it’s going to work out, because you did not pay attention to the credits… When they paid the credits did you pay attention to who the executive director was… He said is the executive director is the father, he is not going to let his child go out like that…
I’m a child of the King and he is not going to let me go out like that… I need somebody when the devil is after your family… .When it looks like you are going to lose your mind, lose your child, losse your mind…. You know how it’s going to turn out because you have been to so much stuff.
If you had been through all I been through, you probably would have needed Prozac, Oxicotten, Etc.. to deal with the stuff I’ve been dealing with over the past 24 months..
The things I’ve been trying to pay off is now finished…. When Jesus breathed his last breathe is twas over… If you give me glory one last time, it is now over…. I need 800 people to say, Don’t wait until the batttle is over, shout right now…
Say neighbor if it was going to happen, it should have happened by Friday… .SOme of us can shout for what is coming… Give God some praise like it’s over… Your season of paying the rent and struggle to keep the lights on are going to be over…. Your season to have to aplogize for who you are, is over…. This is the acceptable year of the Lord… .This is the year he has anointed me to preach the Gospel… This the the year of favor… If you believe that I am anointed from the crown of my head to the souls of my feet… Give God glory like all of your mistakes are behind your… When you shout, you ex can’t come back in… When you shout, the door is closed!!
Give three people a high five and tell 3 people that the door is closed!!!!
I don’t know how you guys are containing yourself… For the 90 of you who just got closure…. Give God some Glory…. I can’t hear nobody… Lift up that hand!!! I speak closure over your life… Everythign that has been open, that has been dangersous… Peopole cannot come into your life like you are a revolving door… Get some closure…
Lord in the name of Jesus I pray for every person that has an unresolved matter and a matter of the heart… Every person who have been dealing with the spirt of manipulation… Every peson that has a broken heart… Those that have not been to church in a while… I pray that God give you closure…. I know you are frustrated that Grandma died, somebody left you… Etc… .CLOSE THE BOOK!
Give God some praise for Closure! God is giving you closure!!
I don’t know you, and I don’t what you have been through… In my spirit, I hear doors closing… God is giving you the green light to go right now!
How many of you know you needed to get some closure…. Brother’s , sister’s haters, lovers… I don’t know where you are, and I want you to lknow that I am not to proud to beg….. I know that your life is on the line…. .I don’t know where you are, I’m begging you to get saved and join the church, and get right with God…. I’m praying that if you take one step, God will take two…. I’m praying that God guides you… I’m praying that God closes the door on all of the church hurt…. The last person that comes in contact with you will have to add to you because you have lost too much….
I want you to meet me at the alter like it’s just you, me and God… You all in my koolaide, and I don’t know where you got that sermon from….. I need some closure and a way of escape…
I have to get saved and join the church…. They are coming right now to the Lord! Empowerment Temple, how do you feel about it?
I need you to clap your hands like you are exciated!!! Come on, they are still coming… I wish you guys would give God Glory and drive the devil mad on today… .Open up your mouth…. Wherever you are… I am grateful for the things you have done…
Yes, I’m grateful for the victory we’ve won… I could go on, and on and on…. about you word… Because I’m grateful just to praise you Lord… Flowing from my heart…. It’ s an issue of life…
I don’t want you to tell your business, because God has just changed your business!!!
I am grateful for the things that you have done!!!
You are in the right place at the right time, at the right church doing the right thing… I know that’s right~~~~ Clap your hands unto the Lord!!!
2 Corinthians 5:17 – Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!
Jeremiah 29:11 (ESV)For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. (New Beginnings!)
New Beginnings
Today as we made it to day 47 of this Lenten and prayer season, we are going to walk in “New Beginnings”…. Old things have passed away, behold all things have become new!!! Can Somebody say New Beginnings! I am ready for a new begining… I retrained my family and friend’s how to communicate over these past 47 days.. I gave up my telephone and it’s been a beautiful experience… Vital and emergency calls only… Can somebody say “I did it!”…
“Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.
The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. “TheLord is my portion,” says my soul, “therefore I will hope in him.”
“And if you faithfully obey the voice of the Lord your God, being careful to do all his commandments that I command you today, the Lordyour God will set you high above all the nations of the earth. And all these blessings shall come upon you and overtake you, if you obey the voice of the Lord your God. Blessed shall you be in the city, and blessed shall you be in the field. Blessed shall be the fruit of your womb and the fruit of your ground and the fruit of your cattle, the increase of your herds and the young of your flock. Blessed shall be your basket and your kneading bowl. …
He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.”
In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was in the beginning with God. All things were made through him, and without him was not any thing made that was made. In him was life, and the life was the light of men. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it. …
A Song of Ascents. I lift up my eyes to the hills. From where does my help come? My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth. He will not let your foot be moved; he who keeps you will not slumber. Behold, he who keeps Israel will neither slumber nor sleep. TheLord is your keeper; the Lord is your shade on your right hand. …
He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also, he has put eternity into man’s heart, yet so that he cannot find out what God has done from the beginning to the end.
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! According to his great mercy, he has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead,
If my people who are called by my name humble themselves, and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and heal their land.
Now there was a man of the Pharisees named Nicodemus, a ruler of the Jews. This man came to Jesus by night and said to him, “Rabbi, we know that you are a teacher come from God, for no one can do these signs that you do unless God is with him.” Jesus answered him, “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born again he cannot see the kingdom of God.” Nicodemus said to him, “How can a man be born when he is old? Can he enter a second time into his mother’s womb and be born?” Jesus answered, “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born of water and the Spirit, he cannot enter the kingdom of God. …
And God spoke all these words, saying, “I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery. “You shall have no other gods before me. “You shall not make for yourself a carved image, or any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth. You shall not bow down to them or serve them, for I the Lord your God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children to the third and the fourth generation of those who hate me, …
The words of Amos, who was among the shepherds of Tekoa, which he saw concerning Israel in the days of Uzziah king of Judah and in the days of Jeroboam the son of Joash, king of Israel, two years before the earthquake. And he said: “The Lord roars from Zion and utters his voice from Jerusalem; the pastures of the shepherds mourn, and the top of Carmel withers.” Thus says the Lord: “For three transgressions of Damascus, and for four, I will not revoke the punishment, because they have threshed Gilead with threshing sledges of iron. So I will send a fire upon the house of Hazael, and it shall devour the strongholds of Ben-hadad. I will break the gate-bar of Damascus, and cut off the inhabitants from the Valley of Aven, and him who holds the scepter from Beth-eden; and the people of Syria shall go into exile to Kir,” says the Lord. …
The wolf and the lamb shall graze together; the lion shall eat straw like the ox, and dust shall be the serpent’s food. They shall not hurt or destroy in all my holy mountain,” says the Lord.
And your ancient ruins shall be rebuilt; you shall raise up the foundations of many generations; you shall be called the repairer of the breach, the restorer of streets to dwell in.
In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. The earth was without form and void, and darkness was over the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God was hovering over the face of the waters. And God said, “Let there be light,” and there was light. And God saw that the light was good. And God separated the light from the darkness. God called the light Day, and the darkness he called Night. And there was evening and there was morning, the first day. …
To put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness.
There was a man in the land of Uz whose name was Job, and that man was blameless and upright, one who feared God and turned away from evil. There were born to him seven sons and three daughters. He possessed 7,000 sheep, 3,000 camels, 500 yoke of oxen, and 500 female donkeys, and very many servants, so that this man was the greatest of all the people of the east. His sons used to go and hold a feast in the house of each one on his day, and they would send and invite their three sisters to eat and drink with them. And when the days of the feast had run their course, Job would send and consecrate them, and he would rise early in the morning and offer burnt offerings according to the number of them all. For Job said, “It may be that my children have sinned, and cursed God in their hearts.” Thus Job did continually. …
Because, if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For with the heart one believes and is justified, and with the mouth one confesses and is saved.
Now Adam knew Eve his wife, and she conceived and bore Cain, saying, “I have gotten a man with the help of the Lord.” And again, she bore his brother Abel. Now Abel was a keeper of sheep, and Cain a worker of the ground. In the course of time Cain brought to the Lord an offering of the fruit of the ground, and Abel also brought of the firstborn of his flock and of their fat portions. And the Lord had regard for Abel and his offering, but for Cain and his offering he had no regard. So Cain was very angry, and his face fell. …
Now the Lord said to Abram, “Go from your country and your kindred and your father’s house to the land that I will show you. And I will make of you a great nation, and I will bless you and make your name great, so that you will be a blessing. I will bless those who bless you, and him who dishonors you I will curse, and in you all the families of the earth shall be blessed.” So Abram went, as the Lord had told him, and Lot went with him. Abram was seventy-five years old when he departed from Haran. And Abram took Sarai his wife, and Lot his brother’s son, and all their possessions that they had gathered, and the people that they had acquired in Haran, and they set out to go to the land of Canaan. When they came to the land of Canaan, …
For we know that if the tent that is our earthly home is destroyed, we have a building from God, a house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens. For in this tent we groan, longing to put on our heavenly dwelling, if indeed by putting it on we may not be found naked. For while we are still in this tent, we groan, being burdened—not that we would be unclothed, but that we would be further clothed, so that what is mortal may be swallowed up by life. He who has prepared us for this very thing is God, who has given us the Spirit as a guarantee. …
For whoever has despised the day of small things shall rejoice, and shall see the plumb line in the hand of Zerubbabel. “These seven are the eyes of the Lord, which range through the whole earth.”
How lonely sits the city that was full of people! How like a widow has she become, she who was great among the nations! She who was a princess among the provinces has become a slave. She weeps bitterly in the night, with tears on her cheeks; among all her lovers she has none to comfort her; all her friends have dealt treacherously with her; they have become her enemies. Judah has gone into exile because of affliction and hard servitude; she dwells now among the nations, but finds no resting place; her pursuers have all overtaken her in the midst of her distress. The roads to Zion mourn, for none come to the festival; all her gates are desolate; her priests groan; her virgins have been afflicted, and she herself suffers bitterly. Her foes have become the head; her enemies prosper, because the Lord has afflicted her for the multitude of her transgressions; her children have gone away, captives before the foe. …
Then Sihon came out against us, he and all his people, to battle at Jahaz. And the Lord our God gave him over to us, and we defeated him and his sons and all his people.
And he who was seated on the throne said, “Behold, I am making all things new.” Also he said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.”
Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, God making his appeal through us. We implore you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God. For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.
“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him.
But they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.
“You are the Lord, you alone. You have made heaven, the heaven of heavens, with all their host, the earth and all that is on it, the seas and all that is in them; and you preserve all of them; and the host of heaven worships you.
After this Jesus went away to the other side of the Sea of Galilee, which is the Sea of Tiberias. And a large crowd was following him, because they saw the signs that he was doing on the sick. Jesus went up on the mountain, and there he sat down with his disciples. Now the Passover, the feast of the Jews, was at hand. Lifting up his eyes, then, and seeing that a large crowd was coming toward him, Jesus said to Philip, “Where are we to buy bread, so that these people may eat?” …
Paul, Silvanus, and Timothy, To the church of the Thessalonians in God the Father and the Lord Jesus Christ: Grace to you and peace. We give thanks to God always for all of you, constantly mentioning you in our prayers, remembering before our God and Father your work of faith and labor of love and steadfastness of hope in our Lord Jesus Christ. For we know, brothers loved by God, that he has chosen you, because our gospel came to you not only in word, but also in power and in the Holy Spirit and with full conviction. You know what kind of men we proved to be among you for your sake. …
***Verbatim Sermon / Worship notes uncut / unedited taken by: Minister Evelyn Diane Thomas***
Easter Sunday, April 8, 2012 7:30 a.m. Service
Sermon titled: “This is not what I wanted!” –
Scripture: Numbers 11: 33-34
Dr. Jamal H. Bryant – Resurrection Easter Sunday 7:30 a.m. Worship
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Numbers 11:33-34 – 31 (NIV) Now a wind went out from the LORD and drove quail in from the sea. It scattered them up to two cubits[b] deep all around the camp, as far as a day’s walk in any direction. 32 All that day and night and all the next day the people went out and gathered quail. No one gathered less than ten homers.[c] Then they spread them out all around the camp. 33 But while the meat was still between their teeth and before it could be consumed, the anger of the LORD burned against the people, and he struck them with a severe plague. 34 Therefore the place was named Kibroth Hattaavah,[d] because there they buried the people who had craved other food.
“This is not what I wanted!”
– I can preach this sermon!
Dr. Joel J. recentently released an article, how to get the feedback that you don’t want to hear… Many sabatoge the process of resistance by hearing feedback… Negative commentatives, and critical reviews by collegures… It’s through feedback that we are able to make progress…
You can use feedback to identify your strengthes, idetify your, and become more effective…
The Do’s and Don’t of Feedback….: When you receive feedback: Do NOT just focus on the bad stuff..
In order evolve – Pay attention to you strenghths and your weaknesses…
Don’t become angry with the criticizer, they are only doing their job… Take some time out out of your emotional hot button to analyze what was said about you!
Most Christians cannot hand criicism… If you say something to a Christian that they do not want to hear, they are immediately labeled as a hater…
I’m not sure when the sanctuary decided that we should function as a massage parlor… Feeback is necessarey… It’s how we can become more resolved in our conviction… The most modern church only want to hear how much they contributed…. That they just showed up for church… You should show up for bibles… People fight back and say:; |They must not know my schedule… If they ask you to give more: You say “They just want your money” When someone says your outfit is out order: They come back and say ” The just jealous….
As soon as you are corrected, you need a meeting because you have been criticized…. Some of us don’t want to know how to be corrected…. Most Christians’ throw a temper tantrum when their name is not called or out front… They don’t undertstand that you have to chasten in order to be stretched…. America acts anal about criticized…. When you give them some feedback to America, the label you as being unpatriotic…. You are considered a socialist when you say we need more education… They call you paranoid when you suggest different criticisms….. “He is fed up with folks that look down on folks.. He turns the table on us to let us see that you have some things that need to be fixed…
You are not as Holy as you think you are…. Even though you came and waved your hands in church…. If you were perfect, you would be dead… Everyday you wake up is an oppotunity to be better than you were yesterday…. “When God gets through with me, I shall come forth as pure gold… .In order for gold to really shine, it has to be able to stand the fire… It has to go through the fire… You should be shouting for what you are going too and not what you are going through…. He is using these trials to show you who you can live without…. He has to show you that everything that glitters is not gold…
Chinese proverbs: The greatest room in the house has room for improvement…
They are complaining because they are tired of eating manna… Asked God to change the menu… What is my responsibility? It’s my responsibility to tell you that “God is getting ready to give you enough meat”… It is not just for today or tomorrow.. .I am giving you enough to sustain you for the month… .What you are getting ready to get from God today, it’s going to be to heavy… You are getting ready to feed off of what you are going to get today, will hold you for the next 30 days….
The wind starts blowing…. Brace yourself…. It’s a sign that the Holy Spirit is moving…. God made man in his likeness and his image… It’s not until he breathed a breath of life into him and man became a living soul… . The wind began to hover over darkness because he knew that God was getting ready to create something….
Ezekiel said: Can these dry bones live again? When the wind starts blowing, houses are not being built, etc… When you have the Holy Ghost, brace yourself because the wind is getting ready to blow you to the right person…. Nobody expected you to look this good after you been though all you have been through…. I cannot tell you that money and cars are coming….. I can tell you that the Holy Ghost is coming from heart to heart and breast to breatst… The Holy Ghost is moving in it’s like Jeremiha… I’t’s like fire shut up in my bones….
Quail was everywhere… .There were 10 homers for everyone… It is equivalent to 60 bushels…. Not just 6, but 60 bushels… I am taking you from under fed to overwhelmed in one day… I’m taking you in one day for barely getting by to flying high… Taking you from thriving to… You will have more than enough…. God does not want you to live in lack and less than…. You cup is getting ready to run over…. I’m getting ready to bless you… .When you were broke, bused and discugusted, God heard your prayer…. I beleive you are going to praise me when you get more than enough… My season for struggling is about to come to and end… He loves me too much to barely see me get by… I have favor on my life until l am going to bless people around me…
He is going to bless me when I’m coming in , and he is going to bless me when I’m coming out… Blessing are going to be pressed down, shaking together and running over…. The surplus is on the way!!!
Be seated please…… I hope you felt good about what was just said…. I hope that is blesses you in a small meniscual way…
I don’t recon you will be shouting after this…. Ok now after this moment Quail came in… It rare that you hear this preached from a pulpit… When God sent the Quail, God sent a plaque… This was the first time they had to deal with a plague themselves…. People started dyeing in the camp…. The text says as we close out this 40 day season… .”Sometimes an answered prayer will kill you!|
“Sometimes an answered prayer will kill you! God says, I’m tired of you complaining… You never ask God, so he is going to give it to you… .You can get the meal you ordered and it be spoiled when you get it! You cried about getting married, but you never asked God is this the negro for me…. God said take it, you can have it, but it will kill you!!!
You wanted a baby so bad, and you imagined it in the blanket… You never prepared for puberty… God said “You asked for this!” I wonder how many people are miserable, frustrated and depressed over what they asked for? Now that they got it, they are trying to figure out how to give it back… This is what you and your little prayer partner touched and agreed on it…
You wanted the house but you don’t want the mortgage… You wanted the car, but you can’t handle the car note….. The answer I give you, may need some seasoning and maturity… Don’t think that every time you get a blessing it’s not going to hurt you…
He wiped out the one that were complaining about the food….. He said, you have the nerve to be complaining that I have been feeding you for two years… I gave you what you wanted at the place you were at when I knew you could not handle the harvest…
I wish I had some people in the room that says: Pastor, please don’t make me raise my hand…. I don’t want to turn to my neighbor… I just want to sit still…. I just wanted one of those cute little Easter sermons… This is not what I signed up for…. I feel like I’m bowling down somebody’s alley…
You wished you give it back with the level of pain and scrutiny that comes with the blessing I asked for…
This is the reason we shout and celebrate on this morning…. “Jesus did not want the cross’ He is in the garden of Gethsemane… Jesus said “”Not my will, but thy will be done.” His sweat turned into droplets of blood.. He was all man and all human… When he was feeding the 5,000 and walking on water, and healing the woman with the issue of blood, he was not complaining…. He asked a question, who touched me…. Some of us want the the glory , but not the agony… You are so wonderfully gifted, but you do not like the attacks it provokes…. Some of you been complaining about what haters say about you…. What you think was going to happen with this level of anointing on your life… You could go through something that could kill you!
What’s up with anointed people that don’t want pain… Anointed people that think they are above conflict… People that have an assignment that act suprised when people don’t like you… You don’t think people will mess you up because you are anointed… You have to say like Job…. .For God I live and for God I die..
Father forgive them…. Mother behold thy son… When Jesus was on the cross, he nevered said ‘Thank You” It’s hard to give God glory when… If I had died in my circumstance….
When they crucified my savior, the drove spikes in his hands… Three days later, he ran into Thomas… Thomas said he was not goint to beleive unless he seen the holes in his hands… On Friday this was not what I wanted…. By Sunday, he said it was worth it…. You should thank God for every mountain he has brought you over… Every trial I had to fight…. If I never had a problem, I would not have known that God could solve them….. If you never had a problem, how do you know that God can work it out?
This is not where I seen myself in this season… .What the enemy meant for evil God meant for good… .Say Neighbor, confuse the enemy… When you don’t like what’s happening… .Praise him!!!! Weeping may endure for a night, but Joy is coming in the morning…
Say neighbor, the enemy almost got me last week… .I almost got depressed but I started saying I got joy and joy unspeakable… This joy that I have the world did not give it to me and the world cannot take it away!!
I need you to lift up your hands right where you are…. You did not want to be laid off or bad news from your doctor…. You did not want your child to make that bad decision…. This is not where you want to live or the income you want… .God says to lift your hands and think about what he is doing for you in the desert…. Praise about what you use to complain about!!
Praise about, what you use to complain about… .Give God glory like you have a reason!!!
As your hands are lifted I want to pray over you…. Lord in the name of Jesus, I pray you only give them what won’t kill them…. God if they don’t appreciate it, don’t manfest it… God as our hands our lifted, we are open for your feedback… Whatever you say about us we are going to use it to mature and develpp… People of God that are thankful that they are still being fed in the desert…
If you are thankful that God is still feeding you while you are still in the desert… Do y ou know how many people have filed bankruptcy and have been laid off their jobs but are still being fed… Do you know how many educated people are living in shelters and in their cars, but they are still grateful because God is still taking care of them in the desert…
What do you need to be doing to be a better Father, Mother, Believer/ What areas need to be worked on? It’s amazing that we can criticize other people, but we cannot see the beam in our own eyes…. You are not going to resurrect if you don’t see your own faults… . Sometimes, God sends a critic… God sends an evaluator to help you re-examine your life to see how you can be living better….
There should be yellow tape everywhere because this should be a constructions site to become developed…
Thank God for everything that was negatively said about you… They don’t even undertstand that hateration was my motiviation… Alll I needed you to do was to tell me what I could NOT do!
I need you to get saved, and I am going to tell you what you don’t want to hear.. .You are a mess, and your life is a wreck… You have been sabotaging your own sucess… .The only way you are going to get better is that you realize that God yet died for me while I was yet a sinner…. . Something has got to be removed to get to that level… God is knocking some things down to get you to a level… If you know that God brought you down to bring you back up!!!
I’m believing that God is gettign ready to multiply this ministry….. .I am going to give to you not to sustain you for the day but for the month… When God sent the Quail, the did not kill the people that had the right attitude… He answered the prayer of the poepel who did not complain…. They ate the complainers food… God is going to drop a blessing into your lap….. You are getting ready to get somebody else miracle and blessing because the other person does not have the right attitude to receive the blessing….
I dare you to complain…. You better not complain…. Ask them have they giving their life to God?
“I wish somebody’s soul would catch on fire and burn with Holy Ghost!!!”
Noted taken by: Minister Evelyn Diane Thomas April 8, 2012
And what do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul? … “For what does a person benefit if he gains the whole world and lacks his soul? … To gain the whole world means to possess it as our own – all its riches, its honors, …
And what do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul? … For what does it profit a man to gain the whole world and forfeit his soul? … cause of Christ will appear as glorious, as some now think it mean and contemptible.
But what if your soul DOES live on forever after your death – either in heaven … You need to repent of your sinfulness – this means that you agree with God … For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?
Luke 9:25 What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, and yet lose or forfeit his very self?
Matthew 16:26 What good will it be for a man if he gains the whole world, yet forfeits his soul? Or what can a man give in exchange for his soul?
Hebrews 10:34 You sympathized with those in prison and joyfully accepted the confiscation of your property, because you knew that you yourselves had better and lasting possessions.
When I was a kid, I was taught to Follow Directions:
Few things are as frustrating and as infuriating, as having our children ignore our instructions. But how do we convince youngsters that it’s important to follow directions—not just to please us or avoid punishments, but to make their own lives easier as well? (After all, a child’s health and safety can depend on her ability to follow orders. And kids function better in school, sports and other group activities when they know how to carry out instructions.) Here’s some expert guidance on getting your kids to do as they’re told.
Obey your leaders and submit to them, for they are keeping watch over your souls, as those who will have to give an account. Let them do this with joy and not with groaning, for that would be of no advantage to you.
And by this we know that we have come to know him, if we keep his commandments. Whoever says “I know him” but does not keep his commandments is a liar, and the truth is not in him,
For Christ also suffered once for sins, the righteous for the unrighteous, that he might bring us to God, being put to death in the flesh but made alive in the spirit, in which he went and proclaimed to the spirits in prison, because they formerly did not obey, when God’s patience waited in the days of Noah, while the ark was being prepared, in which a few, that is, eight persons, were brought safely through water. Baptism, which corresponds to this, now saves you, not as a removal of dirt from the body but as an appeal to God for a good conscience, through the resurrection of Jesus Christ, who has gone into heaven and is at the right hand of God, with angels, authorities, and powers having been subjected to him.
For my flesh is true food, and my blood is true drink. Whoever feeds on my flesh and drinks my blood abides in me, and I in him. As the living Father sent me, and I live because of the Father, so whoever feeds on me, he also will live because of me. This is the bread that came down from heaven, not like the bread the fathers ate and died. Whoever feeds on this bread will live forever.” Jesus said these things in the synagogue, as he taught at Capernaum.
I hope to come to you soon, but I am writing these things to you so that, if I delay, you may know how one ought to behave in the household of God, which is the church of the living God, a pillar and buttress of the truth.
So Jesus said to the Twelve, “Do you want to go away as well?” Simon Peter answered him, “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life, and we have believed, and have come to know, that you are the Holy One of God.” Jesus answered them, “Did I not choose you, the Twelve? And yet one of you is a devil.” He spoke of Judas the son of Simon Iscariot, for he, one of the Twelve, was going to betray him.
But understand this, that in the last days there will come times of difficulty. For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, heartless, unappeasable, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not loving good, treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having the appearance of godliness, but denying its power. Avoid such people. …
And they went through the region of Phrygia and Galatia, having been forbidden by the Holy Spirit to speak the word in Asia. And when they had come up to Mysia, they attempted to go into Bithynia, but the Spirit of Jesus did not allow them. So, passing by Mysia, they went down to Troas. And a vision appeared to Paul in the night: a man of Macedonia was standing there, urging him and saying, “Come over to Macedonia and help us.” And when Paul had seen the vision, immediately we sought to go on into Macedonia, concluding that God had called us to preach the gospel to them.
This is the bread that comes down from heaven, so that one may eat of it and not die. I am the living bread that came down from heaven. If anyone eats of this bread, he will live forever. And the bread that I will give for the life of the world is my flesh.” The Jews then disputed among themselves, saying, “How can this man give us his flesh to eat?” So Jesus said to them, “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink his blood, you have no life in you. Whoever feeds on my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life, and I will raise him up on the last day. …
Now there was a man of the Pharisees named Nicodemus, a ruler of the Jews. This man came to Jesus by night and said to him, “Rabbi, we know that you are a teacher come from God, for no one can do these signs that you do unless God is with him.” Jesus answered him, “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born again he cannot see the kingdom of God.” Nicodemus said to him, “How can a man be born when he is old? Can he enter a second time into his mother’s womb and be born?” Jesus answered, “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born of water and the Spirit, he cannot enter the kingdom of God.
But that you may know that the Son of Man has authority on earth to forgive sins”—he then said to the paralytic—“Rise, pick up your bed and go home.” And he rose and went home. When the crowds saw it, they were afraid, and they glorified God, who had given such authority to men.
I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.
Now there were in the church at Antioch prophets and teachers, Barnabas, Simeon who was called Niger, Lucius of Cyrene, Manaen a member of the court of Herod the tetrarch, and Saul. While they were worshiping the Lord and fasting, the Holy Spirit said, “Set apart for me Barnabas and Saul for the work to which I have called them.” Then after fasting and praying they laid their hands on them and sent them off. So, being sent out by the Holy Spirit, they went down to Seleucia, and from there they sailed to Cyprus.
Now there were six stone water jars there for the Jewish rites of purification, each holding twenty or thirty gallons. Jesus said to the servants, “Fill the jars with water.” And they filled them up to the brim. And he said to them, “Now draw some out and take it to the master of the feast.” So they took it. When the master of the feast tasted the water now become wine, and did not know where it came from (though the servants who had drawn the water knew), the master of the feast called the bridegroom and said to him, “Everyone serves the good wine first, and when people have drunk freely, then the poor wine. But you have kept the good wine until now.”
Jesus also was invited to the wedding with his disciples. When the wine ran out, the mother of Jesus said to him, “They have no wine.” And Jesus said to her, “Woman, what does this have to do with me? My hour has not yet come.” His mother said to the servants, “Do whatever he tells you.” Now there were six stone water jars there for the Jewish rites of purification, each holding twenty or thirty gallons. …
And he called to him his twelve disciples and gave them authority over unclean spirits, to cast them out, and to heal every disease and every affliction. The names of the twelve apostles are these: first, Simon, who is called Peter, and Andrew his brother; James the son of Zebedee, and John his brother; Philip and Bartholomew; Thomas and Matthew the tax collector; James the son of Alphaeus, and Thaddaeus; Simon the Cananaean, and Judas Iscariot, who betrayed him. These twelve Jesus sent out, instructing them, “Go nowhere among the Gentiles and enter no town of the Samaritans, …
“Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy. Six days you shall labor, and do all your work, but the seventh day is a Sabbath to the Lordyour God. On it you shall not do any work, you, or your son, or your daughter, your male servant, or your female servant, or your livestock, or the sojourner who is within your gates. For in six days the Lord made heaven and earth, the sea, and all that is in them, and rested on the seventh day. Therefore the Lord blessed the Sabbath day and made it holy.
To this he called you through our gospel, so that you may obtain the glory of our Lord Jesus Christ. So then, brothers, stand firm and hold to the traditions that you were taught by us, either by our spoken word or by our letter.
Be imitators of me, as I am of Christ. Now I commend you because you remember me in everything and maintain the traditions even as I delivered them to you.
For no one can lay a foundation other than that which is laid, which is Jesus Christ. Now if anyone builds on the foundation with gold, silver, precious stones, wood, hay, straw— each one’s work will become manifest, for the Day will disclose it, because it will be revealed by fire, and the fire will test what sort of work each one has done. If the work that anyone has built on the foundation survives, he will receive a reward. If anyone’s work is burned up, he will suffer loss, though he himself will be saved, but only as through fire.
And getting into a boat he crossed over and came to his own city. And behold, some people brought to him a paralytic, lying on a bed. And when Jesus saw their faith, he said to the paralytic, “Take heart, my son; your sins are forgiven.” And behold, some of the scribes said to themselves, “This man is blaspheming.” But Jesus, knowing their thoughts, said, “Why do you think evil in your hearts? For which is easier, to say, ‘Your sins are forgiven,’ or to say, ‘Rise and walk’? …
It is enough for the disciple to be like his teacher, and the servant like his master. If they have called the master of the house Beelzebul, how much more will they malign those of his household.
And he called to him his twelve disciples and gave them authority over unclean spirits, to cast them out, and to heal every disease and every affliction.
For the son treats the father with contempt, the daughter rises up against her mother, the daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law; a man’s enemies are the men of his own house.
Following Directions….
What to avoid
The methods parents typically use to get children to listen are often ineffective or actually encourage noncompliance, according to a new study by Edward Christophersen, PhD, professor of pediatrics at Children’s Mercy Hospital in Kansas City, Missouri, and author of Beyond Discipline: Parenting That Lasts a Lifetime (Westport Publishers). He and other experts advise steering clear of some common mistakes.
Don’t say “don’t.” A negative instruction like “Don’t let me come home and find that you still haven’t done your homework!” is much more likely to be ignored than one that gives a positive alternative, such as “Please get started on your homework right after you eat your snack this afternoon.” Emphasizing what your child is not to do has pitfalls, Chistophersen says. Kids under age frequently misunderstand negate directions—particularly if they are shouted—and may hear “Don’t bring that wet dog into your room” as a command to “Bring the wet dog into your room.” Older children may find that disregarding a “don’t” can be more rewarding than obeying it: They get your attention that way.
Reasoning gets little or no results. Explaining why certain actions are undesirable—”If you leave your toys lying around, you might trip over them and hurt yourself”—has no impact on children under age six, Christophersen finds. Your words simply go in one ear and out the other. “A young child doesn’t relate to abstract future consequences, so he’s not likely to be motivated by a warning like this. Since he isn’t hurt right now, he doesn’t feel there’s anything to worry about.”
With an older child, a detailed list of reasons for every rule can spark a tedious debate or, at best, create short-lived compliance, he adds. You might get a 10-year-old to return a book to the library on time by explaining that if she doesn’t, she’ll have to pay the fine out of her allowance. However, she’ll probably forget to return the next book she borrows because at this age, dipping into her piggy bank isn’t nearly as painful as wasting precious playtime to walk to the library.
The more you nag, the less kids listen. It’s very easy for parents to slip into the “nagging and shouting syndrome,” observes psychotherapist James Windell, MA, author of Children Who Say No When You Want Them to Say Yes (Macmillan Books). “When a child doesn’t respond the first time she’s told to do something, parents often repeat the request over and over until they finally lose their temper and start shouting. The message you give your child when you let her tune you out many times is that there’s no need to pay attention to you until you’re screaming.”
Avoid empty ultimatums or threats. Making impulsive threats when a child doesn’t listen, such as “Do this right now, or I’m going to ground you!” is another common mistake parents make, Windell says. This can create a no-win situation, because kids resent being forced to give in. As a result, they often get angry and end up focusing on that anger instead of concentrating on what you asked them to do.
Tactics to try
With a few minor changes in the way you give directions, you can prevent communication problems as well as create an atmosphere that encourages cooperation. These attention-getting strategies will help you get your message through to your kids.
Lay the right groundwork. The time to work on better communication with your child isn’t when you’re already knee-deep in conflict over something he’s forgotten to do, but during the calm moments of the day, says Susan K. Golant, co-author of Getting Through to Your Kids (Lowell House). “Show your child you’re curious about what’s going on with him, so he feels comfortable discussing any problems that may be making him less attentive than usual. You might want to set aside time each day to talk.”
What if your child is too young for such discussions? “Play activities are a good way to elicit a preschooler’s feelings,” adds Golant. “If your four-year-old is being balky, you could use dolls or puppets to act out the situation. She’ll probably laugh when she sees the ‘child’ puppet dawdling instead of getting dressed or eating dinner. Then you can ask her why the puppet is doing that. Also try giving her the ‘Mommy’ puppet, so you can see how she perceives your behavior toward her. You may get some unexpected insights into how you interact with each other.”
Define your expectations. A key step to having your child hear you is to decide exactly what you’d like him to do, emphasizes Windell. “Many parents fail to tell their kids what they expect of them—but get angry anyway when their child doesn’t do a particular task,” he says. “Morn or Dad comes home from work, sees their kid has left dirty dishes and food out in the kitchen, then greets him with an outburst, such as ‘What’s wrong with you? Can’t you even clean up your own mess?’ Since the child was never given clear instructions to do this, he’ll get angry about this unjust attack, and that leads to an unpleasant confrontation.”
A more productive approach would be to come up with a precise, positive guideline you want your child to follow. For instance, try saying “After your snack, I want you to put your dishes in the dishwasher and the food back in the fridge.”
Get her undivided attention. Before telling your child about an important rule or expectation, eliminate potential distractions. If she’s playing, ask her to put down her toys for a minute, then move them out of her reach. Turn off the TV or radio, and sit down next to her. Make sure she is facing you before you speak—you may need to gently turn her shoulders toward you or touch her cheek to get her total attention. Next, look her right in the eyes, and use her name: “Sally, I need you to ask me before you go out into the yard.”
Let your child help make some of the rules. Everyone, kids and adults, wants to have a say in things that concern them. To help your child feel that he’s not always being bossed around, request feedback from him if possible as you make a new rule or give him instructions to do something. For example, a 10-year-old might be told, “I notice that there are candy wrappers on your floor. What do you think would be a good rule to help you remember to throw them away in the future?” Giving a child a say gives him an impetus to follow the rule or direction—and he’s less likely to claim you’re unfair.
Give choices—not commands. Whenever possible, let your kids decide how or when to follow your directions. With a five-year-old, you might say, “You need to put away your crayons. Do you want to do that now or in fifteen minutes?” Again, giving your child some say in what procedures she’s to follow can often prevent power struggles.
Be careful, however, not to use words implying that not doing the task is one of the options, notes Windell. “If you say, ‘Would you mind taking the garbage out?’ your youngster probably won’t realize this is meant as a rhetorical question. She’s likely to argue with you, because in her mind, the answer is yes, she would mind taking the garbage out and would rather have somebody else do it. If you want to offer her a choice, make it clear that what she gets to decide is when to do the job, not whether to do it.”
Make instructions easy to understand. Many parents give directions that are too broad and open to misinterpretation. Instead of just telling your nine-year-old to clean out his closet, break the task down into several steps, and stay with him until the job is completed. You might begin by saying, “Put the dirty clothes in the hamper.” Next, tell him, “Put all the toys in this box.” Then say, “Throw those crumpled papers in your wastebasket.”
Ask your child to repeat your request. Getting your youngster to recite rules and instructions out loud can prevent tearful protests of “I didn’t know” or “I didn’t understand” later on. Ask young, easily distracted kids to repeat your directions silently to themselves several times. Offer older kids a written checklist or, better still, have them write down the information themselves.
Create positive and negative consequences. Offering a reward for following your directions, and a penalty for disregarding them, has two important advantages, Windell says. First, you’ll provide motivation for your child to mind you when you tell her that if she finishes her homework by six, she’ll have time to watch her favorite TV show. Then you’ll reinforce the message by reminding her that if she doesn’t, the TV will stay off all evening. “You’ll also give your kid the freedom to decide how she wants to behave, instead of giving her the feeling she’s being forced to do what you say,” observes Windell.
Acknowledge good behavior. Do you pay more attention to your kids when they shout or ignore you than when they quietly follow directions? “What most parents don’t realize is that even so-called ‘negative’ attention can reinforce disobedience unless you make an effort to balance it by noticing and appreciating your kids when they’re being good,” says Christophersen. “Give them a brief hug or a kind word anytime you see they’re doing something you approve of. You don’t have to make a big deal of it—a quick pat on the back now and then can do more to get your kids to cooperate than an hour of reprimands.” So stop scolding, and start setting loving limits that make everybody feel good about doing what you say, when you say it!\
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